Sometimes we can get so caught up in the sexual chemistry or the excitement of meeting someone new that we ignore a very basic fact: the two of you are totally incompatible. You can keep dating and having fun, but eventually realize you were totally stupid to miss the signs and waste so much time on Mr. Wrong. Here are some red flags you just can’t afford to ignore.
You never get past the small talk
Yeah, he’s fun to talk to—as long as you’re talking about silly, shallow things. But you can’t make cocktail party chitchat all day, or even your whole life. If you can’t see yourself talking about the important stuff, like your dreams or fears or even why you totally hated your day and possibly your job, then you just don’t have that emotional connection. And believe us, it’s that sense of ‘kinship’ that is the stuff that true love is made of—don’t you deserve that?
You can’t stand each other’s friends
This ‘you and me against the world’ is only cool in movies. In real life, it means you’ll be cutting yourself off from important people in your life, and that’s going to affect you in ways you probably still don’t realize. And on a more profound level, your friends are your friends for a reason—you have more in common with them than you know. So if he can’t stand them (or you can’t stand his) then there’s a good chance that you share many of the habits or personality and will eventually drive each other crazy.
You want different things out of life
Ask each other where you want to be in 5, 10 years. Get concrete: what would your career, family life, etc. be like? See if those dreams are compatible. If you’re aching for a family and he wants to be traveling around the world then you know that there’s a big disconnect.
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