Have you ever had a friend whom you really liked but was just too clingy for comfort? No one wants to be stifled by an overly needy person, but sometimes, you might not realize just how needy you are behaving.
People are social creatures. Even the most introvert of us needs to interact with other people every so often. However, there are boundaries to interaction. Even if you are the best of friends with another person, there will always be limits to your relationship.
Here are some common signs that you are being too clingy of a friend. If you catch yourself exhibiting these behaviors, it is about time that you make some changes!
1. You ALWAYS need a friend with you.
Picture this: it is a Saturday, and you have no plans. You want to go out for lunch, but you do not have anyone to go out with. What will you do?
The next day, you realize you need to go to the spa. You don’t want to go alone. What will you do?
If these incidents are relatively isolated, and you call a friend to go with you, it does not necessarily mean that you are too clingy. However, if you ALWAYS need to have someone to go with you to do things, then you just might be too needy. If you need to call a friend so that you can go do some grocery shopping, you are in trouble. Remember, your friends like hanging out with you – you wouldn’t be friends if they didn’t – but they have lives of their own as well. You cannot expect everyone to just drop whatever they’re doing so that they can accompany you.
2. You are always the one to initiate get togethers.
Whenever you go out with friends for dinner or coffee (or whatever it is that you do together), who initiates the ‘dates’? If you find yourself being the only one who keeps getting in touch with your friends so that you can meet up – every single time – then you might be exhibiting clingy behavior. If you organize get togethers practically every night or every day, then the chances of you being clingy are way up the charts. Again, your friends have lives of their own, and while they enjoy your company, it does not mean that they have nothing better to do than meet up with you every time you want them to. Give them a little breathing space and let them initiate your ‘dates’ every now and then, will you?
3. You can’t spend a day without calling or texting your friend.
I understand that the closest of friends communicate constantly. You probably have one or two friends whom you talk to on a daily basis. There is a fine line, however, between being clingy and communicating regularly. If you find yourself sending several long text messages every single day and receiving one-word replies back, then you should be hearing warning bells. If you find yourself calling your friend everyday only to have him tell you he is busy (call later or he’ll call back), then maybe it is time to give your friend a little bit of space.
4. You find yourself saying yes to everything your friends say.
In other words, do you think you’re a doormat? Say your friend gives you a call and asks you to go with him so he could buy a new phone, do you say yes even if you don’t feel like it? After buying the phone, he asks you to accompany him to some place so that he can run some errands. Do you say yes without thinking about your own plans? The list could go on and on. If you always find yourself saying yes just so you can have company, then perhaps you are being too clingy.
Being clingy doesn’t just mean that you make demands on your friends that border on the unreasonable. It also means that you do not think of yourself when they need something from you because you would rather forget your own needs just so you can have someone with you. In other words, you can be a clingy friend because you do not want to be alone, and you’ll do anything to avoid that.
5. You invite yourself to your friends’ activities – even personal ones.
I know a person who has the knack of inviting himself to everything. We used to just laugh it off, but I realized that he is the epitome of a needy friend. The whole situation reached it peak when he invited himself to a couple’s date night. Can you imagine doing that? If you can, you really ought to reexamine your behavior.
6. You need to know what your friends are up to every single day.
Asking your friends how they are because you genuinely want to know if they’re okay is one thing. Having to constantly check on them to see if they’re going out, watching a movie, doing their laundry, etc. is something else. Not everyone wants to report all their activities to you – you have to realize that. If your friend doesn’t tell you that he is going out for coffee, it does not mean that he doesn’t like you. It’s just the way it is! Do not keep hounding your friends regarding their activities every day. It can be tiresome, you know.
7. You are constantly worried that your friends are not including you in their plans.
It’s Friday morning, and you still haven’t gotten an invitation to go out at night. You haven’t heard from anyone about plans for the weekend. Do you start to panic? Do you start worrying that your friends are planning on doing something and they haven’t told you? You are being paranoid. Stop it! If your friends want to include you in their plans, they will. If they don’t, why would you want to go with them?
Stalker friends! Lol