You’re beautiful, smart, fun to be with. Everyone you know tells you that you’re an awesome catch, and any guy would be lucky to have you as his girlfriend and even his wife. ‘Why, then, am I still single?’ you ask.
Part of it could be lousy luck—but do you have any habits or even subconscious issues that are turning away guys (even those who like you) or preventing you from recognizing a prince when you see one?
Your standards are too high.
Go through your list of what you want from a guy, and (this is what will surprise you) your list of things that will make you reject a guy that’s already there. Are you expecting way too much from a mere mortal?
Try finishing this sentence: ‘I just can’t be with someone who…’ By all means look for good character and a compatible personality, but what would you do if you meet someone awesome who makes less money than you do? Or is 10 pounds overweight? Or has a funny nose? Try breaking your standards into ‘Must have,’ ‘Nice to have,’ and ‘Has absolutely no bearing on how happy I will be in the long-term.’
You’ve got leftover issues from your last breakup.
You’re no longer in love with the guy, but have you stopped hating him? Other guys can be sensing your anger and bitterness. And consider this: if you’re still thinking about the past, you’re still mentally in that relationship. Let it go as a thing that is way past its time, like the acid jeans you wore in high school, and just move on.
You open up too much, too quickly
It’s nice to be able to open up to somebody—that’s the mark of a keeper—but saying too much too soon can scare guys away. Let him see the fabulous side of you (your joy for life, your passion, your energy) and gradually open up as your relationship and trust deepens.
You fall for the wrong guys
You can see a pattern: they’re all gay, married, scared of commitment. Bottom line: they’re unavailable. Could you be subconsciously picking the wrong guys so you have a reason to run away? Try to work out your own issues, while consciously breaking the cycle. If you see signs that the guy is a serial dater, than step away like a reformed alcoholic from a liquor store.
You’re too clingy
You’ve found a great guy… but let the poor guy breathe! Clinginess makes you look desperate and is as annoying as heck. He likes you, but he needs time with his friends, time alone, time to work.
The root of clinginess is insecurity. You’re afraid of ‘losing’ him, not realizing you’re pushing him away. But you need to feel whole before you can be in any real relationship. Work on your own life, and building your self-worth, so your guy doesn’t have the pressure to make you feel complete and happy.
Photo from midnightfaye.wordpress.com