Break ups are part of life. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be able to move on with your life and enjoy whatever you are experiencing. Now, the title of this article is gender specific, but let me tell you outright that the slant I am taking is by no means targeted solely at men – or women for that matter. I am merely using a “man” figuratively, as in “be a man about it.”
Going back to break ups – yes, we all have to experience a break up at least once in our lives. It does not get easier with each additional break up that you go through, especially if it is not you who initiates the break up. However, there are things that you can do to hasten the process of healing just a tad bit. You have two major choices: be a softie about it and wallow in your corner OR be a man about it and get over it!
Here’s the best piece of relationship advice you can today: choose the latter and be a man about your break up!
Suck it up!
Your girlfriend or boyfriend has said it to your face: the relationship is no more. There is nothing between the two of you. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
You may feel as if your heart is breaking – it probably is, in a way – but there is really nothing that you can do about it. Your partner has broken up with you. Deal with it. Once you get to this point, you will find doing the next steps a tad easier.
No, it’s not an article about alcohol or addictive substances. If you think about it, though, your girlfriend or boyfriend probably served as an addiction to you, one way or another. In that sense, you can use some detox after your break up. How do you go on a “partner detox” regime?
Hit that delete button. Grab your mobile phone, and delete your ex’s number, or numbers for that matter. It doesn’t matter if you memorize the number/s – just delete them anyway. Don’t stop there. Delete his or her messages, photos, videos, etc. Everything in that mobile phone that is associated with the ex – remove them! Repeat this process for everything else – instant messengers, e-mails, and all other means of communication.
Stick to your guns. This is essential to make your detox successful. Deleting all those venues of communication is merely a beginning. You have to do what you can not to give in to nostalgia and yearning. You’ve deleted contact details. Don’t dig them up again.
Burn, baby, burn!
If you had been together for any decent amount of time, you probably have accumulated some stuff. Photos, trinkets, clothes, toys, and so on – these things do tend to pile up when you are in a relationship. Here’s a tip: bag them and burn them. I don’t mean literally, but if that’s what you need to do – do it!
Oh that’s not all – check your computer’s desk top. What is your wall paper? How about your phone? Change the images and delete the old ones!
Face the old ghosts.
I can’t count how many times I hear relationship advice running along the lines of “avoid places where you used to go.” I understand that – it’s quite related to the detox program at the beginning of this post. Let me shake things up a bit, though. How about manning up and meeting the issue head on?
Admit it – you liked some of those places. That beach you used to go to with your partner – you wouldn’t mind going back there. Why should you stay away from the places just because you have bad memories? Brace yourself; get ready to re-visit those places that you want to; and make your own new memories!
One last thing: what if your ex wants to “be friends”? Nah, forget it. He or she may want to be friends immediately after the break up, but be honest with yourself. Is that really possible without bringing in some residual emotions into the picture? I suppose it is, but not a month (or two or maybe three) after the break up. Stop being friends – temporarily if need be.
Yes, it is not easy, but others have done it, and you can, too!
Photo via tibchris