Complete this sentence: ‘When I _______, I’ll feel happy.’ Most of us rearrange our lives and priorities in pursuit of a goal, thinking that once we get there, everything else will fall into place. But while goals are a great thing to have, they can feed a deep and never-ending sense of discontent. Complete one goal, and we set another. Buy one thing, and we soon end up wanting the newer version or the expensive accessory. And the sad thing is that happiness is always a thing we need to pursue, rather than something we can enjoy at this moment.
So what does it take to be really, really happy—right here, and right now? You’d be surprised how simple it can be.
When you’re feeling stuck…
Happiness may be no farther away than your ball-point pen. Whether you’re stuck in a boring meeting or bummed out by a bad day, you can ease your stress and immediately lift your mood by doodling. Not just any doodling, mind you. In one study conducted in 2008, participants were asked to sketch something. Those who were told to make happy figures (sunflowers, smiley faces, cute little hearts) felt their stress decrease. (For more life tips, read our article on what to do when your life feels stuck.)
When you’re disappointed…
Take it as part of life. Just think of all the things you wanted to do but avoided simply because you were afraid of being disappointed or disappointing others. ‘I won’t get that job, so I won’t even apply.’ ‘I won’t sign up for the writing class, because I’m a horrible writer.’ But how can you get a job you don’t apply for, or get better at writing if you don’t take a class? Next time the fear of failure holds you back, remember that disappointment is never as bad as we imagine it will be. (And it is never as bad as the regret of never trying at all.) For more life tips, read our article on fearless living.
If you can’t take a long vacation…
Take a short one. A two week vacation is no more relaxing than a one-week vacation. And a thirty-minute break can be more powerful than you think! In fact, most experts recommend that you take shorter but more frequent breaks from your work to avoid burnout and give you the benefit of ‘brief happiness boosts.’ Yes, that includes simple pleasures like massages, looking at your old photo albums and laughing at your old high school haircuts, and savoring a cup of ice cream.
If you feel bored with your life…
Shake up your routine. Most of us settle into a pre-programmed list of things to do, food to eat, and people to hang out with. But when we do something again and again, it can become more of a habit rather than a real source of pleasure and a fuel for enthusiasm. Rejuvenate your life with spontaneity and freshness. Invite a new co-worker for lunch. Try a new recipe once a week. Get a totally different haircut.
If you feel old…
Love it! We tend to associate age with sadness, loneliness and a lot of wrinkles, but search conducted in Stanford University indicates that age can actually bring a richer and more mature emotional life. You become your own person, you’re not afraid to speak your mind or stand up for what you want, and you actually enjoy your own company. That’s pretty awesome!
If you can’t get a promotion or raise…
Think about how your personal satisfaction really has nothing to do with what’s on your calling card. Additional money won’t necessarily improve your quality of life, especially if the new job means more responsibility and stress. Give yourself a completely free ‘happiness boost’ by spending the time you would’ve put into a new job on your family life, health, and well-being.
Photo from wilson.iblog.co.za