Therese had been divorced for over a year, and was wondering if she was ready to re-enter the dating world. ‘How do I know if it’s time? How do I tell my kids? How do I prepare myself?’ Experts give tips
Assure the kids
Even before you bring home any guy, reassure them that they are important to you, and you are not planning on finding them a ‘new father.’ Let them express their reactions without judgment or debate. Let them be honest with you and respect their opinions, even as you ask them to respect your decision to date. (FInd out more on what this step can mean to your kids.)
Let go of the emotional baggage
Give yourself time to process the feelings, fears and thoughts. At least be aware of them, and accept them. It will take time to heal—seek therapy if it may help you find clarity. Don’t go into dating just to prove to yourself that you’re okay or to ‘get over’ the pain. No guy can heal you or rescue you.
Manage expectations
See dating as a way of expanding your social circle and broadening your perspective. Even if you don’t hit it off with someone, you have at least made a new friend. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel or act awkward the first few times you go on a date—it’s been years since you’ve ‘done the dating scene’—laugh at yourself, enjoy the process, and chalk it up to Life 101.
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