Betrayals cut deep into the core of a person’s being. The initial pain is sharp and painful while effects linger on to intermittently hurt and affect the future. The truth of a spouse having an affair with another cannot easily be handled with grace and acceptance. Those who say otherwise probably never knew the pain of betrayal.
There are two major players in spousal infidelity: the cheater and the one being cheated on. All the rest including the hated third party, well-meaning relatives, accomplice-friends, co-workers who kept quiet and nosy neighbors are just supporting players. Let us take the time to consider the feelings of these two.
To catch a cheating wife or husband is not a joke. The effects are felt long before the actual discovery of cheating. The offended party or the person on the receiving end of infidelity go through a whole gamut of emotions ranging from hurt, anger, despair, loneliness, depression, and destructive revenge. As a person weaves his/her way through this varied state of emotions, the body reacts accordingly and inevitably suffers.
What started out as disturbances to thoughts and feelings can actually wreck havoc on a person’s well-being. It only takes the smallest amount of doubt that is consistently reinforced by actions and circumstances to open a Pandora’s Box. Persons going through this phase can feel sick without having any physical ailments. Headache, nausea, stomach ache, sleeplessness, chest pain, or a general feeling of lethargy can take over when a person is faced with something as serious as marital infidelity. Sometimes, the natural instinct to take care of one’s self takes a back seat as the emotional pain is allowed to fester and do its damage.
A cheating spouse caught red-handed may be going through an emotional ride himself/herself. Guilt, alienation, or the pain of judgment from family and other people are real and are not necessarily non-existent in a cheater. In a world hungry for justice, it is always a temptation to say that cheaters deserve to be unhappy. The sickest cheaters who find joy and a sense of achievement in cheating their spouses are already manifesting the undesirable effects of going against the natural law of life, even when continuously denied. For how can one claim that his/her well-being is sound when happiness is derived from hurting others?
Being humans, we cannot escape being affected regardless of which side of the fence we are in. Whether as victims or offenders, we are bound to answer to the decisions we make in life. We can choose to live a healthy and stress-free life by reacting responsibly to the situations we are thrown into. Infidelity in marriage can be overcome together or alone. A life separate from that of the cheating spouse is not the end. It can be that one critical step towards achieving a life that is more worthy of your value as a person. We hold the key to our personal well-being and it starts with knowing the truth.
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