There are kids who are very bossy and who lets you know exactly what they feel or what they want.This is not necessarily a good trait. We need our children to learn to be independent and learn to decide on their own. Learning this trait at an early age will give them more confidence and when they grow up they will have inculcated the qualities of good leaders within themselves. But there are children who are more timid and are not very assertive. Children who are not assertive need help so that they can get out of their shell.
To clarify things, assertiveness should not be mistaken for aggressiveness. Assertiveness is a positive quality and refers to a person’s ability to confidently express his feelings and ideas while also being aware of the feelings of other people.
The first thing you should do is to set a good example to your child. Children learn best through example and if you provide them with practical examples of how to be assertive then they will try to mimic it. They will know how to interact when faced with similar situations.
Self-esteem is key to developing assertiveness that’s why you should help nurture their self-esteem even at an early age. Develop their confidence and have a sense of what they are capable of doing. Inculcate in your child that he is as valuable as any individual.
Allow him to make his own decisions. Start off by allowing him to decide on simple things first. Allow him to order by himself at the restaurant. Just ask him what he wants before the waiter arrives and then ask him to tell the waiter himself what he wants to order. Your child can also do this at fastfood outlets. Allow him to order by himself at the counter. Discourage him from dilly-dallying. Urge him to make his choice and encourage him to stick by it.
You should also exert your authority to your children. Some people think that it is curtailing a child’s freedom but based on studies, it was discovered that children who are assertive and have self-confidence are also those that have been well-disciplined by their parents. These children are free to do things but within set rules. These children also know that they can always run to their parents if they need support or guidance. Give your children the room to make their own decisions but also make them understand that there rules that need to be followed and these are non-negotiable.
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