How to have an unconventional wedding (without alienating your mother)

The idea of wearing a fluffy white gown makes you shudder. In fact, so do most of the traditional wedding rituals—like cutting the cake and stuffing pieces into your new partners mouth in front of a roomful of guests (90% of which you don’t know).
But who says you have to have a traditional wedding? Here are some modern ways to celebrate your exchange of vows. See if any of these seem closer to your personality and preference.

Wear whatever dress you like

Your wedding dress doesn’t have to be white, nor does it have to be a ‘dress’ as we often imagine it to be. Instead of a heavy, lacy, and extremely uncomfortable gown, buy whatever you feel pretty and comfortable in, and have it altered for a perfect fit. It’s your wedding and it’s your dress code.

Let the entourage pick their own clothes

You spare yourself the trouble of fretting over a design. And you allow them to pick a dress that is most flattering to their body shape. Sure, they’ll buy it off a rack, but at least they will be able to wear it again—and nobody’s going to resent you for making them wear a dress they absolutely hated.

Skip the bridal shower

Just go out with your girlfriends. Skip the finger foods and the stripper, and all those ridiculous bridal shower games and the racy honeymoon jokes that everyone’s heard all too many times. Instead, plan one fun outing—your ‘last hurrah’ as singles. Go on a trip, take a cruise, sign up for a spa weekend, do whatever you and your friends enjoy.

Have fun at the reception

If your parents want a traditional wedding for you, then fine, give them the bells and whistles of the traditional ceremony. Wear a white dress (not a gown) and walk down the aisle. But insist that the reception is your call—and then do it exactly the way you want to! Trade the white dress for a party dress, play the music you love.

Write your own vows

It’s more personal, more meaningful, and at least you won’t have to choke on ‘to honor and obey.’ The idea is to keep it short and simple. You do want to get through the wedding ceremony before your first anniversary.