Do you overthink or overanalyze situations or problems? Let’s say you call a good friend, who seems to be distracted and distant. Do you shrug and say, ‘She’s having a bad day?’ or do you start worrying that you’ve done something to offend her? Or maybe you have a big project at work. Do you tend to delay decisions, weighing pros and cons forever–driving everyone around you crazy with your indecisiveness?
While reflection and analysis are crucial, dwelling on situations—like a cow chewing its cud—is draining and paralyzing. The big questions of ‘Wh is this happening?’ and ‘what does it mean?’ keeps you stuck, and possibly feeds depression, anxiety and insecurity.
Let’s understand why we can get stuck in this circle. Our brains are wired to connect memories, so one event can trigger similar memories until you have a running catalog of every disappointment or setback. This can distort your view of a problem, and make it bigger than it seem. And as your brain gets flooded in stress hormones, it loses concentration and awareness. You can be so worried by a comment made during a meeting that you lose other info, cues and opportunities to shine.
How do you break out?
First, try to rephrase the situation so it’s action oriented. Instead of ‘I feel like I’m in a career rut’ say ‘I want a job that challenges my mind and creativity.’ Or, ‘Nobody likes me or believes in me’ can be phrased as ‘I want to be more assertive and confident.’ You can the create an action plan.
Also pay attention to what psychologists call ‘cognitive distortions’ or exaggerated views of a problem. Distance yourself from a situation and think, ‘Is my interpretation correct? Am I making the problem bigger than it really is?’
Distracting yourself from anxiety and other negative emotions. Try a physical activity like taking a walk, playing a game on your iPad. But whatever you do, don’t call a friend and then proceed to ‘brainstorm’ or ‘analyze’ on a problem. This can feed on your stress and fears.