NLP is the study of the structure of ‘subjective experience.’ We all view our experiences subjectively. It’s like the story of the six blind men who encountered an elephant. Someone touched the tusk and said the elephant was a ‘spear.’ The second touched the elephant’s trunk and thought ‘hose.’ Everyone had different conclusions, each correct.
By studying how your boss interprets his experience you will know how to relate to him. You just need to use the NLP principle of the dominant sense.
Visual people experience reality predominantly through images, Auditories through sound, and Kinesthetics through feelings. Also, each dominant sense corresponds to a set of behaviors and sensory preferences.
Someone who is visual prefers pictures. They learn best through seeing and tend to talk very fast. They prefer graphs and charts or well summarized information. They are impatient with annexes and long explanations and want the Big Picture (what’s the problem, what’s the impact, how will you solve it). Prepare a one page summary of issues which are important to him. Be punctual for appointments. Meet your deadlines. Describe to him the problems and your proposed solutions in terms of how it would look. Use ‘visual statements’ like ‘I see your point’ or ‘I will show you that our marketing plan is solid.’
Auditory thinkers learn by hearing and talking. He prefers discussions and brainstorming. He is good at generating ideas, and he likes to make improvements on things and processes. It would help if you have an extensive vocabulary so that you could discuss the nuances of issues that concern him in shades of gray. Know his jargon. Pay attention to details. Dot your ‘i’s’ and cross your ‘t’s.’ Be ready to engage your Boss in spirited debates. When conversing with him, use ‘auditory statements’ like ‘That sounds like a great idea!’ or ‘I hear you loud and clear.’
Kinesthetic people are very attuned to feelings and intuition. He needs to be convinced of the issues before he takes a position, but once convinced, he remains firmly committed. He needs time to make decisions, and put a lot of time in building relationships and maintaining group harmony. When convincing him to do something , use ‘kinesthetic statements’ like ‘Let’s get a handle on things’ or ‘I have a gut feeling about this.’
For more tips on dealing with different people, read our article on listening skills you can use in the office.
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